Written January 10
As I lay in bed taking a deep ass sigh realizing that we are ten days into the new year and I haven’t posted since last year November. I’ve been taking the longest to post because I come up with a million excuses. Yes, the girl whose suppose to be on this “She believes she could so she did” type ish just simply can’t get it together at times. I come up with these lavish ideas and not act on them. I can’t say that I don’t have any accountability partners my close friends often as me about my blog. Just last week as well as today Jasmine asked me about a post, and I merely told her I was working on it, I mean I am, working on figuring out the right things to say. Honestly speaking if I continued to wait I would not post ever. I tend to get in my own way and in admitting that I know that I am GUILTY AF.
You know how we often say, “I’m the only one holding me back.” I’m going to move out of the way and just do it, but sadly it never happens. We may do good for a couple of days and fall off. Things are always easier said than done, and it is up to us to get to the root of the issue and work from there. Now I’m going to be transparent and share the activity that I completed while in therapy that has helped me break down the inner critic that prevents me from doing things. We all have that inner critic that talks us out of doing things and sometimes make us feel like crap. My therapist gave me a disclaimer that I may not like the activity which she was correct. Initially, I immediately felt discomfort when being asked to do improv acting as my inner critic. I had to share all the things that my inner critic has prevented Carrie from completing.
A couple of sessions earlier I was asked to name my inner critic who is that tiny voice in your head that tends to share all of the negative. I chose to call her Aggie because she is aggie AF and aids in my frustration and agitation. Okay so boom I have this name, and now I’m asked to act like her, I’m looking at my therapist, and she’s looking at me and all of a sudden it’s almost like I had diarrhea at the mouth. Things quickly started to come out.
Here is a list of things that Aggie has prevented Carrie from doing.
Applying for a new job
Posting on YouTube
Meeting new people
Open and honest about my feelings.
Living in the moment instead of worrying about the future
You see all of these things my inner critic prevented Carrie from doing, stalled Carrie from being the BEST version of herself. Just think of all of the magical shit I could have done by now if only I choose to just do it. So that is precisely what I have decided to do, it may take me some time, I may have to talk myself into action, but it will get done. I challenge you to do the same, silence your inner critic and get moving!
As always with lots of love,