• CarrieSierra

From Tinder Bae to Fiancé. (Five Tips for Online Dating)





Boy, oh boy, when it comes to love and relationships, I a far from the expert. However, I can share some things I have learned from past experiences. Meeting someone online is daunting for some, but social media has become the new way to date. We are far from the ages of solely meeting someone in the grocery store near the produce aisle. He walks up as you are picking out seasonal mangos. He starts by making small conversation and then asks you for your number. Now I am not saying this can't happen. However, times have changed, and technology has made it a little easier to pair with one another. 

Now when I was first out on the dating scene back in 2015, I never had any expectations. The majority of the male species were trash, and I would swipe to open DM's and engage in conversation as a form of entertainment to pass by the time at my 9 to 5. I was more into figuring out myself and doing my own thing. It wasn't until my good girlfriend Jasmine told me that I should give Tinder a try. She had been swiping right and going on dates. Now because I didn't have anything to lose, I decided to download the app. Initially, going through profiles were simple. I swiped right on those I thought were exciting and left on those who just didn't quite fit the bill. Profiles of men who had their middle fingers up, too many kids, had DTF in their bio, etc. you feel my drift. When I came across my fiance page, his bio was interesting, he shared he loved to travel, and he was into technology. He soon sent me a DM sparking up a conversation, and he visited my old blog, asking me insightful questions. Dwayne offered to create a website for me and even gave me his number, but I went ghost. A month or so goes by, and he messages me again. I felt utterly horrible for leaving him hanging, so I gave him my number. Now four years later, we are engaged and set to be married this October. Now enough about me, let's get into the juicy stuff.

 Online dating can be what feels like an uphill battle for some, and others tend to flourish. Regardless of where you fall on the totem pole, here are some quick tips you can use. 

1. Make sure you are ready to get back on the dating scene.

Making the conscious effort of being self-aware regarding where you stand in this dating arena is crucial. Some may use online dating as a means to get over a previous relationship. Who am I to judge and say that is a bad idea? You are free to do what you please. I would suggest making sure that you are ready to get back out there. Healing and being whole makes a considerable difference when dating. Some people prey on those who they can sense who isn't.  

2. Set healthy boundaries

Now healthy boundaries may look different depending on the person. Some may opt to talk on the dating app for quite some time before giving out their number. Others may limit their talk time with the person during specific hours. Never allow anyone to pressure you into doing something that you are not comfortable with; if you do not want to share your social media information, don't. There are ample photos you have posted on your page if they ask for more it is okay to say no. 

3. Know what you are looking for

I am not saying you have to say, "Hey, I'm Carrie. I am 28 years old, and I am here to find my husband". If you are looking for someone to casually date and have a couple of drinks with and hang out, that is entirely okay. Every man or woman you meet on these apps is not your soulmate. Please do not feel the pressure to make them that either. Also, be aware of the type of apps you are downloading, Plenty of Fish has been known to have some significant creeps, and Tinder carries the DTF mentality. 

4 . Safety is always key

Be aware of the people you share your information with, always make a friend aware of who you are talking to, especially if you plan to hang out. Try to stick to day time plans or places that are well lit and in a public setting. You can agree to meet them at the location. Choosing to hang out at a person's home can always be a risky decision. We are all grown here, and if that is something you wish to do, then, by all means, that's your business. If choosing to do so, at least share the address with someone whom you trust. 

5. Don't forget to have fun

Dating is meant to be fun; let go of all of the pressures of trying to make everyone you meet, "The One." Dating is an excellent opportunity to meet some great people, be exposed to different things, and figure out what you want.

These were just a few quick tips, do you have any suggestion leave them down below. I wish you all the best of luck out here in these dating streets, remember never be forced to put up with anything you do not approve of, you always have a choice. 

With Love,

Xoxo

Carrie Sierra 

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